just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
