We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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