Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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