my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
