If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize