i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
