ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Me too!
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
