tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
