Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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