My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize