I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
