Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize
