ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
