he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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