i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
