I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize