Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
And then he peed in my hair
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