um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
