God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I wish life had little blips of pornography
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
