You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
the day after is always just damage control
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
