Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize