I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
