He is an equal opportunity slut.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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