dude i'm inner monologue high
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
