This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
