Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
