You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize