I heard we made out
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
