i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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