Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
