every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
