i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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