Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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