Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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