worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
