Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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