Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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