You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
