carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
