Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize