i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
