remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
