She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
