Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
