when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
NoShamevember. You game?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Randomize
