what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
