So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
