Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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