yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
