another moral hangover. fuck.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
