Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You need Xanax blowdarts
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
