sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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