He is such a slut. More and more my type.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
