I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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