Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I forgot how hot balto sounded
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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