Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
