sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
