i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
