I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize