the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
