We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
