you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
