would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize