Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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