This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize