In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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